Dating a girl in an open relationship
We eventually broke up (for various reasons, most of which weren’t related to our openness), but since then I’ve remained interested in rethinking relationships—and it turns out I’m not alone.
Nonmonoga-me—Current Trends Estimates suggest there are more than half a million openly polyamorous families in the U.
In , Eric Anderson suggests open relationships allow partners to meet their respective needs without demanding more than one partner can give.
There’s also a cultural component: Fidelity stats vary widely among cultures, and evidence suggests countries with more permissive attitudes toward sex also have longer-lasting marriages.
Open relationships tend to fall into two general categories, says Greatist Expert and sex counselor Ian Kerner: Couples might negotiate a nonmonogamous arrangement like the one I had with Bryce, in which each individual has the freedom to date and/or have sex with people outside the relationship.
Or couples will choose to swing, adventuring outside their monogamous relationship as a unit (having sex with other people together, as in a three-or-more-some).
We were committed to each other, referred to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend, and were both allowed to date and be physically intimate with other people.
Some experts say it has roots in genetics: About 80 percent of primates are polygamous, and similar estimates apply to human hunter-gatherer societies.
(Still, it’s not useful to get caught up in the “is it natural” argument, says Kerner: Variation is what’s natural, more so than monogamy or nonmonogamy.)Other research suggests different people have different needs for a satisfying relationship.
But these categories are pretty fluid, and they shift depending on a given couple’s needs and boundaries. —Why Couples Go Rogue The tricky thing about relationships is they’re all different, so there’s no “one reason” why people decide to explore alternative relationship models.
Still, there are a wide range of theories about why monogamy hasn’t proved universally satisfying.